Above is a picture taken by Sue's husband Steven Wittenberg in Ottawa in September 2007Sue has many techniques and tools she used in order to heal from her past.
RELAXATION:
When Sue is either feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired like in the 12 step program HALT, Sue
will take a day to relax. Sue does the following:
- takes a long hot shower or bath
- shut the land line phone off and cell phone off for the day
- stays indoors that day if you need to
- makes a nice breakfast with all the trimmings, make a healthy lunch and supper and order out
or go out for your meals
- plays nice soft music that you like
- don' t read the newspaper or listen to the news - most of the news can be negative
- call a friend who will listen to her and not judge her
- write in a journal all of her feelings whether good or bad
- write a letter to someone she is angry with an not send it and then tear it up
- draw some pictures, do a pastel or oil painting, or use crayons and color in a regualr coloring book
- do a puzzle
- play solitaire
- wash her body and hair with some nice smelling body lotion
- don't put make up on that day
- wear pj's all day
- read some magazines
- read a good book
- make some tea
- cut out pictures from a magazine and make a collage
- write a poem
- go onto the computer and play some fun games
- know that today will pass and tomorrow will be better
- lay down on the couch and do nothing but watch tv - put on some game shows or put on a funny movie
- call the distress centers if you have to and pour out all your troubles to them
- make supper for a friend and keep it low key, something easy to make or order out
- go for a long walk and take a camera and take pictures of the flowers, the birds and the scenery
- make a scrapbook of anything
- make a list of all the good things you have done
- make a list of all the good qualities about yourself
- make a list of gratitude for the things you are thankful for
- cry if you want to and tears are a healing tool in themselves, left it all hang out
- cry with a friend and they will have a shoulder for you to cry on, a safe place to fall
- go on a picnic by yourself and bring your favourite foods
- go shopping and buy yourself something nice - special for you
- mark down the 5 funniest things that ever happened to you
- calling someone and telling them you love them
- hugging someone you love and telling them how much they mean to you and why
- putting on some music and singing along, you don't have to be a great singer, but sing for fun
- looking outside the window and watching the cars and people go by
- write down a dream you have, something you want to have or do in life, write a story about it
- start a "forgiveness" journal of those you want to forgive. Write what the person did you to you, how it made you feel and why you want to forgive them - releasing the anger will be a weight off your shoulders and make you feel better
- don't like your job, write down jobs you would like to do, what makes you happiest when you are doing it or around it.
- take a ride in a hot air balloon
- go the local fair and have fun
- go to an art museum and stuy the pictures and read up on the picture's history, take a tour of a museum in town
- get your hair fixed up at the hair salon - its feels good to have someone take care of your hair
- go to your favourite restaurant and bring a friend
- put on some music and start dancing - dancing will make your feel great and energized
- take your pet out for a long walk
Know you are unique and one of a kind in this world. There is no one like you. You are special.
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When someone dies...
Sue has lost friends in the past. Here are Sue's suggestions on what worked for her:
- crying is ok and let out all your feelings. If you are in public sometimes the tears will flow and you can't help it, if someone asks what is wrong, just say someone passed away. Don't be embarrassed.
People will understand.
- call your friends and family for support.
- don't isolate yourself. If you are feeling down and depressed for a long period of time tell people.
- visit your friends and family and invite them over too
- go to a bereavement group in your area. There are one to one sessions and also group sessions.
Sharing with others who have gone through the same thing will not make you feel like you are the only going through this
- take time to relax, easier said than done
- it will take time but the healing can begin from all the sadness when someone dies. We will never forget them but the pain of losing them does lessen as time goes by and it is bearable afterwards
Emotional pain is hard to put in words sometimes, if someone asks how you are doing, just say you are having a rough time. If someone wants to talk about the person who passed away and it is too
painful for you just tell them that you don't want to talk about it that day maybe another day.
- get a counsellor at the local community center to talk things over if you want to - a social worker
- surround yourself with people who are safe and good to you
